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Your Kid's An Honor Student
But You're A Moron

If First You Don't Succeed
Maybe Losing Is Your Style

If Money Is The Root Of All Evil
Why Do Churches Beg For It?

Marriage Is Grand
Divorce Is 100 Grand

If You Can't Live Without Me
How Come You're Not Dead?

Don't Smoke Crack
Wipe It

If It's Petty, Don't Sweat It
If It's Sweaty, Don't Pet It

I Don't Know Jack Chit
But I Met Diddly Squat

I'm Not Mooning You
I'm Turning The Other Cheek

Better Late
Than Pregnant


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